So, in college, this teacher I hated assigned me to read and critique “A Small Good Thing” by Raymond Carver. I hated the story by default. My reaction to it had nothing to do with the writing and everything to do with the adjunct jerk who assigned it. He spent most of the semester sitting on the edge of his desk in his little beige blazer trying to look cool and relate to the kids (it was a freshman course). To top it off, he completely ignored the mythological/psychological references in Adrienne Rich’s poem “Diving Into the Wreck,” which is sortof obscene because they are so obviously a part of her social/political commentary, but … he was a dude, and he mostly assigned male writers for his “Modern American Lit” class (or whatever it was called), and I felt he was a dumb sexist who only assigned Rich as a nod to the feminist element without actually understanding the work. In that context, I decided every white male author this teacher assigned was probably also a dumb sexist and not worth my time, and I have not read any Carver since.

BUT.

Last night, I was talking with a writer friend who said that a particular blog post of mine reminded her of something Raymond Carver might write. It was a really nice thing to say, but I felt pretty dumb because I had to say, “Gee, I haven’t actually read much Carver because I have this ridiculous grudge against this adjunct professor from nearly 8 years ago.”

So, here is my assignment: Re-read Carver. Start with that one story. Then read some more. Respond to it. Learn from it.

Oh, and I’m still working on Assignment Five, but it turns out writing a good piece about someone who is not myself is hard because I can’t be inside his head, so I keep having to go back and ask more questions, and I am awkward, and I feel like a nuisance. But I am determined to do this because for the love of god, I simply cannot be this self-absorbed angst writer forever.

Do you have any authors or books you won’t read purely out of a silly grudge? Or am I the lone crazy here?

Tags: assignment | raymond carver | reading

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