What Writers Need to Do

September 30th, 2009 by Mary | Filed under writerly

Learn to accept compliments.

This is something I learned from my Mom. When someone gives you a sincere compliment, it’s because they want to make you smile. They want to let you know they appreciate you. Maybe it’s the way you’re dressed today or the nice way you handled a difficult situation. Maybe they think you do good work. Maybe they think you’re generally fabulous.

My Mom explained it this way: If someone says something nice to you and you deny it, what you’re actually saying is (a) “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” (b) “I don’t think you’re being sincere,” and/or (c) “I don’t appreciate you trying to be nice to me.”

Wow, never thought about it that way, huh? Well, my Mom’s a smart lady, so heed her advice.

If someone says you’re pretty, don’t ever tell them they’re wrong. Say thank you.

If someone says you did a good job, don’t tell them it was nothing. Say thank you.

And as a writer or artist, this is particularly important: If someone appreciates your work, don’t tell them how hard it was to do or how you wish it’d turned out, and especially don’t tell them what corrections or revisions you failed to make. Say thank you.

You may feel compelled to criticize yourself and your work, but save it for workshop or the gym or wherever else. You know the quality of your work, and you know what you can improve on, but when someone expresses appreciation for you and what you do, just say thank you.

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5 Responses to “What Writers Need to Do”.

  1. Saying “thank you” is one of the most difficult things for me to do. Regardless of the impetus for the compliment, I somehow feel like I don’t deserve the praise or that it’s simply untrue. In recent years, I’ve moved from flat-out denying the compliment to saying a very ashamed “thank you” or, in the case of my husband’s compliments, saying “I’m glad you think so”. It’s a small step, but it’s moving in the right direction.

  2. dirt :

    Yes, it certainly is a start. I think it’s a good practice. Also, they say that practicing gratitude invites more good things into your life. Makes sense to me …

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